Break

It has been a while. Howdy? I am not finding as much time now to write. As I realized, even writing in a blog takes considerable effort and time. I feel that if something worthwhile has to be said it should provide a fresh look into things. But, with all the information and the many theories we have right now, it will take me considerable amount of time to refer to all that exists rights now. To me, it seems like a full time job in itself. Not that I have any new theory to present. Inner engineering gave me new eyes. But, as of now, I dont have any more capacity (and time) to translate this experience into words. So, till I find that time and energy, I will take leave.

Enjoy the Sunshine and flowers bloom.

Feminism - way forward

As a man, I realize that, because of privilege, I am not aware of so many things a woman does about the gender discriminatory issues in the society. When I write here I may say something that is offensive to somebody, for that I apologize. I will take care in expressing them in an as unbiased manner as possible to me. Before going into it here is an article I found useful for me to understand the philosophy of feminism, http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/feminism-topics/. Another article explaining how a western idea of feminism differs from an Indian context is here: http://www.infinityfoundation.com/mandala/s_es/s_es_malho_women_frameset.htm.

We dont need a label spiritual if everybody becomes meditative. Similarly we dont need a label feminism if everybody transcends the gender. Until then, these labels are bound to be there and of course many more labels. For example, these labels of masculine and feminine come with a lot of weight, but we need some words to represent the qualities.

Coming to the topic of feminism, a lot of campaign is present against feminism. One can only reject a movement/idea/or anything for that matter if they can refute the highest goal it is aiming for. To me, the highest goal of feminism is 'to be less identified with the gender in our every day life and workplace'. Obviously, the movement needs to be looked at differently in different parts of the world. The issues facing women are totally different in India, for example, than what the US is facing. It is important to note the difference and also not to apply the same solution to every situation.

I think feminism as a movement in the west is at a crucial stage. There is a need to re-prioritize the goals. Feminism in the west have passed the masculine stage of survival. It was able to conquer many domains which previous generations of women couldnt imagine possible. The movement now needs to move into the feminine stage of inclusiveness. By acknowledging that now there is no great need to be upset with man. Yes, he might need some learning (and so does she), but dont expect them to be like women. For various reasons, he is also suffering. For example, from the injustice in gender conflicts. There is now a platform for men victims. Before it becomes a fight between labels, it is important to include men and address the issues facing men as well.

Some areas where women apparently have a "disadvantage" is motherhood. (I dont feel that way at all.) It should be a woman's choice to stay at home. I know some dont think so, but well, thats what I feel. It should be up to her. For women at work, there are issues related to maternal leave. Even if one has it, it will surely affect her career. I am not sure how it is being taken care of. And then there is the emotional burden to chose between being with her kid and being at work. I agree that men need to step up in child-care responsibilities. Women have their time with the baby for nine months, which is a great blessing, the gestation period, being one with another life, sharing her own body, and finally willing to go through enormous amount of pain for somebody else. I dont know why men let the opportunity of motherhood pass, when the baby is out of course. This is not a statement for everybody. Every situation is different, some may have financial responsibilities to take care and probably something else. I am only mentioning that as a barrier in the society and possibly in a man's psyche.

Men embracing their own emotions and expressing them when appropriate doesnt necessarily make him effeminate. In an effort to look strong many men (even women) bottle up their emotions. Strength needs to be redefined and it will avoid many a heart attacks. I agree that they are a tough nut to crack, but they will someday, the sooner the better. It is important to accept the tendencies one has within them. It is time we create an atmosphere where there is no prejudice so that the innate nature of who we are finds expression.

India, on the other hand, has an entirely different problem. It will need multiple posts to cover the various issues. Much needs to change there including women's safety (this issue starts even before she is born), sexuality and financial independence. How can life making material and a natural cycle of a woman's body be looked down as unclean? Somewhere down the line, we definitely messed up big time in our understanding of life. It will need a different solution though. We can't bring a hammer that is used to crack nuts to peel an orange. The societies are in a completely different setting than those in the west. I see it as an unfolding of a knot rather than breaking something. A knot, nevertheless, will take much more effort. Just making laws wont be a solution to address the issue. The societies are being put through a great deal of change and its cultural scenario is different, which needs to be taken into account.

First post on Feminism- HeforShe

My essays are coming out to be pedantic, for which I apologize. I dont want to sound like that, but it has a tone used when convincing others. It is an appeal. :) I will expand my previous post into multiple posts soon. I am saying too many things in just one post.

Today is equinox and has a great significance in Yoga as there is a certain balance in duality. The one which we relate to easily is being a man or being a woman. I watched Emma Watson's UN speech on feminism today which was great. Men need to be involved in the movement on a large scale. Nevertheless, I feel that equality is not the right goal, equal opportunity is. Everybody should have equal opportunity to pursue their dreams. Enforcing equality when none exists is not the right way to approach the issue. May be that is what is referred to when they say gender equality. But the semantics are important here. Note that there is no reference to superiority. It is just that they are different. Unfortunately, through the ages these differences are exploited and discriminated. As a result, now we dont want to celebrate the differences, but, enforce sameness, which is not a solution.

Religion and even some spiritual organizations promote this idea that women are the weaker sex, they need protection. There are many more structures in place which keep them in check. Well, anybody who prescribes a moral codes of conduct and a notion of superiority/inferiority miss the whole beauty of life. Regarding protection, I think even men need it now a days. That is precisely the reason why I grow a beard, after being pursued a couple of times.

The many ways in which women express their anger towards the cause are not really a solution to the issue. It is just a momentary outburst, sometimes vengeful. I am not being dismissive of the level of injustice that women have been put through and exploited through the ages. But, if we need to arrive at a solution then a platform where men are involved is necessary. After all they are half of the population.

Yoga will aid a lot in making everybody sensitive. It will create a balance of the masculine and feminine within. Shiva, the Adiyogi (the first Yogi), who is referred to as the peak of a human being is seen as Ardhanari. He is a full fledged man and full fledged woman, at the same time. Both masculine and feminine within should be able to find expression in our lives and play equal roles. If there is that balance within, it will naturally translate into a balance externally.

Spirituality, what is it?

I can see a whole lot of faces immediately, asking this question in different tones. Well, there are many different ways to look at it. One is in the url for this blog, indradhanuvu or the rainbow. It is the same light we see every moment, but suddenly, when there is a drizzle and an appropriate position of the Sun, we see it.

I am not as intellectually capable as many others to formulate new ideas and there is always a struggle to articulate too. I will not look into ideas anyway. Here, I will write about and try to communicate what I understand. Why? It is just like when I watch an enjoyable movie or when I eat good food at a certain restaurant. I want to share it with others so they can try it too. Whether they enjoy it, they can find for themselves. Before we get into all that, I noticed the usage of extremes in my previous post. Well, its just a fragment of my imagination, coming from the land of 'grand scale introductions' in movies. :P So, please bear with such language when it appears. I will be more careful from next time.

When we say spiritual, we are concerned with our own inner nature. That is a complete laboratory by itself, this body, mind, emotions, and energies. As a researcher, when we are working on something, we look into what others have done before. Does it work? What needs to be done to make it work? It is like that even with a spiritual process. Some schools and traditions give us the answers. In my case, I learn more from exploration and would like to have a freedom of inquiry. May be all those answers are right in their own way, its just that I dont know yet. There are methods that I received which helped me understand, but it is still me who is making that commitment to know.

However, there is a difference between the way external science and internal science work. The way we are doing science right now is mainly objective (exceptions exist, QBism, which resort to a radical approach where measurements of an experiment are valid only to the one doing the experiment). The inner sciences are experiential and subjective. There is more emphasis on the subject doing the experiment because everybody is unique and different. Doing the same experiment can yield totally different results for different people. For example, consider a group of people, may be your friends/colleagues, participating in a 100 meter race. Each one experiences this race differently. Even though the results are repeatable, just like any other discipline, one needs dedication and commitment to find them for oneself.

The nature of what we call as spiritual is abstract. It is said to be here all the time and we just need to see it, not with these eyes. It is said to be beyond the physical body and mind. Definitely there are many things beyond our senses, as they are limited. So, is spirituality about increasing the sensitivity of the senses? Is it about shutting down the mind? Is it about the spirit/soul? What is it?

Being Sensitive

This is a simple way to look at spirituality, for me at least. Sensitive, not sentimental. If there are any psychoanalysts, they would categorize me as a hyper sensitive person. I personally dont believe in all that they conclude about people, types of people, and moreover the very tendency to categorize everything around. There are many comprehensive rebuttals to this and can be found elsewhere. I just brought this up so that there wont be a misunderstanding when we talk about being sensitive or any other aspect on this blog. We are not looking at them from a psychoanalysis point of view.

Being sensitive, to all the life around us. There is a great deal of transaction happening constantly with everything. The very air we breath is a transaction with the trees around us. Food we eat is a transaction. Something else over a period of few hours is becoming yourself. All this is happening constantly, it is just that we are not aware of it. So, what difference does it make if we are conscious of it? The difference is that it makes me feel enormous amount of gratitude for all that is happening in this existence. I am more sensitive to my surroundings. I think twice when I consume, because everything is connected and I am grateful for what is available to me. It is not out of imagination, it is really happening all the time.

Now, there is another aspect of being sensitive, not to the surroundings or the other, but just with oneself. Unless this one is taken care of, it will cost a lot more to take care of the other. So, in spiritual process, a lot of attention is paid to oneself. Being honest is an essential part of it. How can you be sensitive to yourself without being honest about it? So, what is the self? Who am I? The body is an accumulation of food, and mind is an accumulation of data and impressions. 'I am not the body. I am not even the mind.' So, what am I? At least we should become aware of something that is not. Rather than drawing conclusions about what we do not know, it makes sense to accept that ignorance. Only then true seeking can start and there is a possibility of knowing what is.

The advantage of realizing this that the body and mind are tools is that we can enhance their performance to a greater degree. I can sit here for hours on end without moving or I can pitch it to intense activity. Similarly for the mind, there is an increased focus and clarity. It is an enormous freedom to have and I have an increased appetite to learn new things.

To me, these seem to be fundamental questions and somehow the society and almost everybody is averse to addressing them. Dont delve too deep into it they say. I agree to them to a certain extent. These seemingly very serious questions of life, if not done with certain playfulness, there is a tendency to become lifeless. Here is a funny clip from a recent movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn-MOZ9bvzg. Sruthi Hassan' father, in this movie, has some twisted philosophy about how to 'conquer the self'. There are countless perversions of words and we dont have to go into them now.

So, how to pursue them without becoming too serious. That is where the methods come in. Prepare the soil, water the plant, provide sunlight, and the flowers will blossom by themselves. Learn any spiritual practice and give it some time to grow. At Isha, the basic practice from the inner engineering program takes about half an hour daily and it has definitely worked for me. 

Hello folks,

A warm welcome to all of you here. I noticed that I had a blog earlier, almost a decade ago. Had to clean up some of my earlier posts, but kept some which were interesting. Here I am again, taking an opportunity to express myself to my little world of friends and family. What would happen if one day  I decide to go to the mountains which I long for? (I will write about the mountains some other time.) Near and dear ones shouldnt get bewildered at such a seemingly drastic act, now that you know. Spirituality means intense involvement with life. If at all I leave it will be for that reason alone. Well, may be I will get to stay among you for some more time if situations around me change.

Let me start off by saying that I had no idea about anything remotely related to spirituality till 2011-12. No scriptural knowledge, no meditation classes, no yoga, nor any interest in the new age ideas. I was completely ignorant of them. Something happened in August 2011 that left in me a sweet emotion and my whole perspective on life started changing from then. This account that follows, without any great detail of specifics, gives the gist of my inner journey.

Even when I was a kid there was a certain sense of detachment. I never pestered my parents to buy me the latest bike around, nor the coolest video games nor a PC. I was satisfied with whatever I got. At least that is the version I remember. May be my parents will have different things to say. :) Because of my mother, I could eat almost anything edible, except milk while playing and the combination of sweet and hot. I enjoy that taste now. As a kid, I remember myself running away from home whenever possible. We used to go to the edge of the town, to the crematory, to the river and when I was given a bicycle, I remember going to farther places going across the bridge to a different colony. Climbing trees, playing hide and seek, releasing a kite to the highest extent possible and when it gets cut off, follow it down to the river. We used to exchange shirts to fool the seeker into calling out different names so that he/she would have to do it all over again. All of it was fun and studies never came to me till I was about 10-11 yrs of age. I was restrained in so many ways and in a span of a year or two I started to enjoy mathematics, chess, badminton and cricket. I became a little more sophisticated from being an unruly kid. From that point onward, I was immersed in solving problems till I went to IIT-Madras.

When I was in my first year of undergraduate school, I had existential questions. But, I never had the opportunity to pursue them since there was always so much happening around me at that time. After so much of time spent in solving problem, I took to playing sports and there were so many options to play. If I were asked about what I wanted to become in life at that point, I would have put up a confused look on my face or to hide that face came up with some quirky smart-sounding reply. I understood people around me well enough, but there was too much mischief with in to give my friends any breathing space. Friends used to hurl chairs, abuses, bricks at me while I would be laughing at them all the time. Of course, I was at the receiving end sometimes. I had the knack of seeing two sides of an issue and used to jump between the two when everybody sat down for evening debates. I was even nick-named Gopi, goda meeda pilli (Cat on the wall). Somehow it didnt stick to me as I already had another name, ALFA (a low funda asshole), which everybody seemed to like. It is a very insensitive way of showing love, to abuse them and give them belittling nick names. Even though there was a voice which protested against it, it wasnt loud as I myself was very involved in teasing others, pointing out their short comings and poking them, almost always, the wrong way.

There was a tendency to philosophy and understanding religions. But these queries never crystallized. I would call myself agnostic at that point as I didnt know the existence of God or divine or anything beyond this physical body and mind. I was not too aware of emotions then. If I felt like crying, I would and similarly for laughing, anger, jealousy. There is a certain unrestrained intensity to it. If something made sense to me (or just funny) and if I felt like saying anything, I would, with little regard to the ones present there. I was simply ignorant of the other.

One thing that would define the quality of me through out the years is involvement. It has been the same when I was playing or when I was preparing for JEE or when I cook or anything else. This also lead me to being addicted (not to any great extent, but just bordering on what we call normal) for some time as this quality of involvement was not a conscious one. In those days, there was an identification of the result to my action. Even though I was involved fully, I almost always had the result in mind and would be upset if I didnt meet my own expectations. That in short summarizes my wall which I needed to overcome. When one of my school teachers told me this verse from the Gita about fruitless action, I was bewildered and argued why that cant be. It is only because I wanted to become something or I am after a result that I was acting.

Coming the the US has been a blessing as it gave me so much free time. Of course, initially I did not know what to do with it. Definitely, friends provided an enjoyable distraction. There was a need in me to save somebody. It was still ME who is offering. This identification lead to constipated relationships with others. Lot of times I preferred solitude to company. The distractions reduced when I moved into a separate apartment by myself. Slowly, I got interested in the popcorn philosophy (which makes us feel good about ourselves, but without any nutritional value). In a way it helped me to come out of the cocoon. Now life was happening to me at an increased pace. I somehow had an aversion to meat, probably after watching videos on how food that I ate came to my plate. I re-joined Shaolin kung-fu school, became more sensitive in general. I noticed that I didnt enjoy all the comedy that is mainstream as most of it is ridiculing others. Unless I had a chemistry with someone, for example with my friends, I could not enjoy jokes on others.

It was then there was a realization that when love truly happens there wont be any conditions and it will only expand. There is immense joy in love because there is no sense of identification. This was the trigger that put me in a seekers garb. I came across Osho’s books. I picked up No water no moon, went though it like a breeze. I found out about Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, researched on him for about 5-6 months, and then there was no looking back. Everything was on fast-forward. I drove 26-30 hrs to attend Shoonya and then for the Bhava spandana program. It is a blissful journey so far. I met so many truly beautiful people along the way from then on. Everybody I know of and interact with mean something to me. I experience a deep connection with life around me. It feels as if I reached. There is no where to go.

Nowadays, there are so many options for spirituality. It is as if we can shop for Gurus. Many ‘cults’ offer very similar things. If one can consciously use the intellect and choose, they can find what they are after. After all, the decisions we make in our life have the power to transform us. Dont base these decisions on what somebody else is saying. Invest time for yourself to know what you are seeking and to find out whether something is working for you.

Within my capacity and understanding, I plan to write about various topics important to me. Spirituality, yoga, love, intellect as a means, feminism, education, workplace environment and so on. The education system I have been put through makes me question everything, but the experiences of my life provided an entirely new perspective. I will make an attempt in putting them in words through this blog, among other silly stories and poems. I am inclined to silliness and spirituality. Oh no, they are not too far away from each other. :)