As a man, I realize that, because of privilege, I am not aware of so many things a woman does about the gender discriminatory issues in the society. When I write here I may say something that is offensive to somebody, for that I apologize. I will take care in expressing them in an as unbiased manner as possible to me. Before going into it here is an article I found useful for me to understand the philosophy of feminism, http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/feminism-topics/. Another article explaining how a western idea of feminism differs from an Indian context is here: http://www.infinityfoundation.com/mandala/s_es/s_es_malho_women_frameset.htm.
We dont need a label spiritual if everybody becomes meditative. Similarly we dont need a label feminism if everybody transcends the gender. Until then, these labels are bound to be there and of course many more labels. For example, these labels of masculine and feminine come with a lot of weight, but we need some words to represent the qualities.
Coming to the topic of feminism, a lot of campaign is present against feminism. One can only reject a movement/idea/or anything for that matter if they can refute the highest goal it is aiming for. To me, the highest goal of feminism is 'to be less identified with the gender in our every day life and workplace'. Obviously, the movement needs to be looked at differently in different parts of the world. The issues facing women are totally different in India, for example, than what the US is facing. It is important to note the difference and also not to apply the same solution to every situation.
I think feminism as a movement in the west is at a crucial stage. There is a need to re-prioritize the goals. Feminism in the west have passed the masculine stage of survival. It was able to conquer many domains which previous generations of women couldnt imagine possible. The movement now needs to move into the feminine stage of inclusiveness. By acknowledging that now there is no great need to be upset with man. Yes, he might need some learning (and so does she), but dont expect them to be like women. For various reasons, he is also suffering. For example, from the injustice in gender conflicts. There is now a platform for men victims. Before it becomes a fight between labels, it is important to include men and address the issues facing men as well.
Some areas where women apparently have a "disadvantage" is motherhood. (I dont feel that way at all.) It should be a woman's choice to stay at home. I know some dont think so, but well, thats what I feel. It should be up to her. For women at work, there are issues related to maternal leave. Even if one has it, it will surely affect her career. I am not sure how it is being taken care of. And then there is the emotional burden to chose between being with her kid and being at work. I agree that men need to step up in child-care responsibilities. Women have their time with the baby for nine months, which is a great blessing, the gestation period, being one with another life, sharing her own body, and finally willing to go through enormous amount of pain for somebody else. I dont know why men let the opportunity of motherhood pass, when the baby is out of course. This is not a statement for everybody. Every situation is different, some may have financial responsibilities to take care and probably something else. I am only mentioning that as a barrier in the society and possibly in a man's psyche.
Men embracing their own emotions and expressing them when appropriate doesnt necessarily make him effeminate. In an effort to look strong many men (even women) bottle up their emotions. Strength needs to be redefined and it will avoid many a heart attacks. I agree that they are a tough nut to crack, but they will someday, the sooner the better. It is important to accept the tendencies one has within them. It is time we create an atmosphere where there is no prejudice so that the innate nature of who we are finds expression.
India, on the other hand, has an entirely different problem. It will need multiple posts to cover the various issues. Much needs to change there including women's safety (this issue starts even before she is born), sexuality and financial independence. How can life making material and a natural cycle of a woman's body be looked down as unclean? Somewhere down the line, we definitely messed up big time in our understanding of life. It will need a different solution though. We can't bring a hammer that is used to crack nuts to peel an orange. The societies are in a completely different setting than those in the west. I see it as an unfolding of a knot rather than breaking something. A knot, nevertheless, will take much more effort. Just making laws wont be a solution to address the issue. The societies are being put through a great deal of change and its cultural scenario is different, which needs to be taken into account.
We dont need a label spiritual if everybody becomes meditative. Similarly we dont need a label feminism if everybody transcends the gender. Until then, these labels are bound to be there and of course many more labels. For example, these labels of masculine and feminine come with a lot of weight, but we need some words to represent the qualities.
Coming to the topic of feminism, a lot of campaign is present against feminism. One can only reject a movement/idea/or anything for that matter if they can refute the highest goal it is aiming for. To me, the highest goal of feminism is 'to be less identified with the gender in our every day life and workplace'. Obviously, the movement needs to be looked at differently in different parts of the world. The issues facing women are totally different in India, for example, than what the US is facing. It is important to note the difference and also not to apply the same solution to every situation.
I think feminism as a movement in the west is at a crucial stage. There is a need to re-prioritize the goals. Feminism in the west have passed the masculine stage of survival. It was able to conquer many domains which previous generations of women couldnt imagine possible. The movement now needs to move into the feminine stage of inclusiveness. By acknowledging that now there is no great need to be upset with man. Yes, he might need some learning (and so does she), but dont expect them to be like women. For various reasons, he is also suffering. For example, from the injustice in gender conflicts. There is now a platform for men victims. Before it becomes a fight between labels, it is important to include men and address the issues facing men as well.
Some areas where women apparently have a "disadvantage" is motherhood. (I dont feel that way at all.) It should be a woman's choice to stay at home. I know some dont think so, but well, thats what I feel. It should be up to her. For women at work, there are issues related to maternal leave. Even if one has it, it will surely affect her career. I am not sure how it is being taken care of. And then there is the emotional burden to chose between being with her kid and being at work. I agree that men need to step up in child-care responsibilities. Women have their time with the baby for nine months, which is a great blessing, the gestation period, being one with another life, sharing her own body, and finally willing to go through enormous amount of pain for somebody else. I dont know why men let the opportunity of motherhood pass, when the baby is out of course. This is not a statement for everybody. Every situation is different, some may have financial responsibilities to take care and probably something else. I am only mentioning that as a barrier in the society and possibly in a man's psyche.
Men embracing their own emotions and expressing them when appropriate doesnt necessarily make him effeminate. In an effort to look strong many men (even women) bottle up their emotions. Strength needs to be redefined and it will avoid many a heart attacks. I agree that they are a tough nut to crack, but they will someday, the sooner the better. It is important to accept the tendencies one has within them. It is time we create an atmosphere where there is no prejudice so that the innate nature of who we are finds expression.
India, on the other hand, has an entirely different problem. It will need multiple posts to cover the various issues. Much needs to change there including women's safety (this issue starts even before she is born), sexuality and financial independence. How can life making material and a natural cycle of a woman's body be looked down as unclean? Somewhere down the line, we definitely messed up big time in our understanding of life. It will need a different solution though. We can't bring a hammer that is used to crack nuts to peel an orange. The societies are in a completely different setting than those in the west. I see it as an unfolding of a knot rather than breaking something. A knot, nevertheless, will take much more effort. Just making laws wont be a solution to address the issue. The societies are being put through a great deal of change and its cultural scenario is different, which needs to be taken into account.
3 comments:
Great post. Also I think men being more involved with babies will inculcate great respect in men from women, just like women coming to the work place and working does give them greater sensitivity to the pressures a man faces .
My mom told me a few days ago that when I was born in Delhi and mom was still in the hospital, she was distributing Mithai to the people in the hospital because obviously it was a happy occasion for her. However, the doctor was very perplexed as to why my mom was distributing Mithai since I was born a girl and not a boy. I was like wow, I must've just entered the world and didn't know anything...and already had my first brush with sexism..that too from a doctor who is suppose to value life irrespective of gender! lol
Thanks Navin. Thats true. Romica, I know and it needs to change. :)
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